Dear Abbey: My daughter is far from her husband who rents me a room. Recently, he took her out of insurance without telling her. Now she wants me to chase him, and she’s mad at me for refusing to do so. She says it shows that I approve of her actions. She told me he was no good, he used her and he hit his girlfriend. She threatens that if I keep him, we won’t be nearby.
He pays me by the hour and I rarely see him because he works at night. I need rent, and we’re still doing well. I say this is my house, and I should decide if he’s going to leave. What do you think? – In the middle of Florida
Dear environment: You need to explain to your daughter that the reason her husband lives with you is that you need the income. Whatever method of eviction you have in your state, you may not be able to get rid of it right away, even if you want to. It is your home and the decision to drive it out must be yours. But if you continue to allow her to rent from you, it can cause a breakup with your daughter, which can be final.
Dear Abbey: I often feel left behind. On Facebook last weekend, I saw two coworkers and a former coworker go on vacation weekend. I was not invited. Should I retaliate or do I act in a way that does not bother me? This isn’t the first time a friend or colleague has done something like this. I comment on their post – “sounds like fun” – but I was never invited. How should I feel about this and what should I do? – Overlooked in Minnesota
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Dear forgotten: What you “should” be is recognizing that your coworkers don’t have to include you in anything other than work. They may have mutual benefits that bring them together, or an chemistry they don’t have with you. Instead of smoking or dreaming about “retaliation” (which is unsolicited and inappropriate), build relationships outside of that circle of co-workers and friends and do what you want on the weekends. .. This way, you are less dependent on these people and less likely to be disappointed if your relationship with them is not as close as you want it to be.
Dear Abbey: I have been reading your column for years and have never seen this question before. I am a senior with a prohibition on resuscitation order. If something happens to me and I am taken to a nearby hospital, they are concerned that they will not know that I have the file with my care provider. Is there a way to educate first responders? Thank you for your continued service. – Latest request in California
Dear last request: Many people do this by posting a notification by their bed, in the refrigerator, or on their cell phone’s contact list designated as ICE (in case of emergency). Some cards can be carried in a wallet to alert the EMT of the patient’s wishes. Your health care provider can teach you how to get it.
Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.
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